Turkey Sandwiches, Pancakes, and Caesar Salad

It started with a turkey sandwich. I’m not sure why it is always the little things, the turkey sandwich and not the turkey dinner, the pancake and not the cheesecake, lasagna and not pasta primavera, but it is always the simple foods that trip me up.

I had a long day at work today, one of those day where you shred 700 business cards, send out six versions of the same report because everyone has one small edit to make, and frantically trying to remember how to convert time zones so that you don’t turn in your homework late… again. I was going to treat myself to some cartoon cat bread. Don’t laugh, that is the actual name of an actual dessert served at our friendly Korean-owned fake-French bakery that specializes in weird hotdog and cheese-based pastries.

Anyway, I was looking for the cat bread, when suddenly I stopped. There, on a scrappy handwritten sign taped above a half-hearted refrigerator section were the characters 火鸡三明治, and I immediately felt a surge of homesickness.  There, hidden amongst the suspect tuna and egg salad was an actual turkey sandwich, and I needed to have it.

For a little context, turkey isn’t something Chinese people eat. Actually, I don’t think I’ve even seen turkey available anywhere in Chengdu before. There is lots of pork and chicken, some beef, heck even duck and yak are pretty common, but no turkey. And to be honest, I didn’t really mind. Turkey isn’t one of those things I commonly go out of my way for. Sure, I eat a couple of slices on Thanksgiving, maybe buy a package of lunch meat every so often, but that’s pretty much it.  So, I was surprised when I was suddenly seized by this absolute desire to eat this turkey sandwich that had definitely been sitting there, soaking in its own juices for several hours.

In the bakery, I picked up the little saran wrapped box. Thickly cut stale white bread, some sad iceberg lettuce, slimy tomatoes, something green… possibly cucumbers, a white substance I guess was either mayo or cheese, and then a few scraggly pieces of turkey. It didn’t even look appetizing then and there, but I still needed to have it.

I carried the box to the register, sadly forked over twenty-two kuai (roughly $3, and about ten kuai more than I would have paid for a good bowl of noodles), and ran back to my apartment. I unwrapped the box, tried not to drip, whatever was dripping off the sandwich onto my bed, and inhaled the entire thing.

It was terrible. I mean, beyond forgiveness bad. I’m not sure how a single sandwich can simultaneously be stale, dry, and soaking wet. I can’t tell you what it tasted like, except that it was bad. I have no idea if that white substance was supposed to be cheese or mayo, but it didn’t really taste like either. The tomato immediately launched itself off of the bread and onto my pants, and crumbs flew everywhere. It was gone in less than two minutes.

I don’t really know why I keep doing this to myself. Last week it was pancakes so laughably bad that I didn’t quite know what to do with them. The week before was some terrible Chinese approximation of a burger and fries. Don’t even get me started on Chinese ice cream…

I am perfectly content to eat Chinese food most of the time. I struggle a bit with breakfast here, but that’s because there isn’t a 油条place within walking distance of my apartment. I can choose from over five different hand-cut noodle places within a ten minute walking distance of the consulate. I have a list of classic Sichuanese dishes that I can order pretty much anywhere. And when that fails, point and pray usually works pretty well. The dumpling lady who works in my building may not know me by name, but she definitely knows my order.

So, why do I insist on eating over-priced poorly cooked Western food? I know it will be bad, I can see it coming from a mile away, and yet, sometimes I can’t stop myself. Again, its never the giant feast that trips me up, always the humble snack. It’s the brownie that reminds me of baking “from scratch” with my mother. It’s the salad that reminds me of all the times my little sister ate an entire bag of Caesar salad. It’s the cup of coffee that smells like home. 

I never feel more homesick than when I’m eating food that is just not quite the same as back home.

Being a White Girl in China

Alright, I'm going to preface this post by saying I've never ever felt afraid or threatened while traveling in China. But I have felt uncomfortable. And I have felt awkward. And I definitely have been angered.

This summer, I've been taking this international studies class on examining and navigating different cultures. A part of that was examining how women are treated in different cultures. Some of my (female) classmates interning in parts of Africa or Southeast Asia have had some pretty scary/threatening things said to them. No one (to my knowledge) has been hurt, but the differences in the ways women are treated were pretty astounding. We looked at how these students reacted to the situation, how that reflects our different cultural backgrounds, and tried to be reasonable. There are no easy answers to women's rights around the world. Some things are deep rooted, and to a certain extent, lasting change must come from within a culture.

That being said, the I've been reflecting a lot on my personal experiences from this summer and last summer. For instance, I realized that I've never gone into a Chinese bar without at least one other American guy. If I need to ask directions, I will almost always ask an older lady or a college-age girl. At my internships, I've talked to female coworkers much more than male coworkers. And when I do public outreach events at the consulate, there is always a small group of male students who I desperately wish would stop talking to me.

Like I said, I've never been threatened... but I have been propositioned. Lots of times. And most of the time, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

It's okay, they are just drunk, eventually they will get the point and go away. That was a little strange, but maybe he was just trying to be friendly... English isn't his first language, he probably meant nothing by it. Walk a little faster, and hopefully you can cross the street and avoid this pack of guys. Keep your head down, don't react. Where do I live? Oh, just an apartment over there, but I've got some work to finish up before heading home... Would I date a Chinese guy? Well, I already have a boyfriend... yes, he is back in the States... No, I don't think I need a boyfriend in China.

Added up, I realize that I spend a great deal of time in China feeling uncomfortable. It is lots of little things; a group of men staring as you walk to work, questions about how free (read: loose) American women are, its the assumption that girls don't study math and science because they just aren't as smart as men, the hyper-feminized imagery in Chinese media, and the way in which taxi drivers ignore me and listen to a male coworker. It is this grating force in the background of my Chinese experience. It isn't the worst thing that has ever happened, but it definitely contributes to my struggles here.

Right or wrong , feminist or not, this is the reality. I don't want to scare anyone off... truly the vast majority of Chinese people are wonderful and friendly. This is an amazing country, and I have had two fantastic summers. But, I do want people to be aware. Things aren't nearly as bad here as in some other places, but it is the little things, day in and day out, that make the difference.

The Chengdu Checklist

After I received my internship offer from the United States Consulate in Chengdu, I immediately started googling. Mostly, I just didn't recognize the city, and needed to figure out where it was. When I found out that Chengdu is pretty much the biggest city in Southwest China, the gateway to Tibet, and in Sichuan Province, I became really excited. Very quickly, I became obsessed with learning more about all about this city, the cool things to do here, and where to travel outside of the city. 

Now, I'm two weeks from the end of my internship. Two of the other interns have already left, my roommate is leaving on Monday, and most of the rest of us will be gone by the 15th. I've had so many amazing experiences, hundreds of photos, and many more wonderful memories. I hope to share a handful with you as I work my way through my little Chengdu Checklist.

1) PANDAS!!!

Sichuan is actually one of the last places where wild pandas exist. It is also home to the Panda Breeding Research Center and the Bifengxia Panda Natural Reserve. Maddy, Michael, and I took a Thursday off a couple of weeks ago to make the two and a half hour trek to the larger Bifengxia reserve. Leaving from our apartment at 6:30 AM, we (barely) caught the 7:10 AM bus to Yan'an, the closest city to the base. We reached the city around 9:30, negotiated with a slightly crazy taxi driver to shuttle us up the mountain to the research base, purchased our (student price!) tickets, and were on a park shuttle bus to see the pandas by 10.  

Fortunately for us, it was still relatively cool when we got to the park, so most of the pandas were still roaming around, doing important panda things. For the toddler pandas at panda kindergarden, this mostly involved tumbling over each other and chewing on bamboo shoots. Adult pandas seem to split their days between eating bamboo, napping, scratching their butts (much to the disappointment of the Chinese tourists), and sleeping in trees. 

They were pretty adorable. However, by the end of this trip, I was feeling pretty sick. I'm pretty sure I wound up with the trifecta of common traveler's ailments; food poisoning, migraine headaches, and serious dehydration. I want send a shout out to Maddy for helping get me down the mountain, and to Michael for buying me an awesome panda shirt and being a good sport about the situation.

2) Mountain Climbing

One of the reasons we chose to go to the Bifengxia Reserve rather than the Research Base, was because we had heard that the Bifengxia gorge was beautiful. Even in my desperate, dehydrated state, I was amazed by how beautiful the area was. The picture above is of one of two trails we followed after seeing the pandas. That particular trail led us past the source of one of the dozens of waterfalls in the area. 

3) Temple Visits

I've visited a few different temples in Chengdu, and I've had pretty mixed results. Some, like the Green Ram Temple (which all three pictures are of) are very touristy and crowded. Generally, you aren't allowed to take photos inside temples, but the really big popular ones have become very lax about these rules, instead focusing on preventing you from taking pictures of the statues and alters themselves. 

My favorite temples are in small monasteries. Cheap to get into, less crowded, quieter, populated by quiet monks and nuns, and much more authentic. Chengdu has some really fantastic Tibetan-Buddhist, Taoist, and regular Chinese Buddhist fusion temples. There are also a bunch of Mosques around the city, but those don't really seem very open to visitors, so I haven't tried to enter one yet.

4) Fine Dining

As much as I love Chinese street food, sometimes you want to get dressed up and go out to a fancy restaurant. Some of the interns, Consulate staff, and I went out to Yu's Family Kitchen, where we had a 32 (!) course meal that was a modern interpretation on classic Sichuan flavors. Absolutely everything was fabulous. 

I really like using food as an excuse to get people together, go to a new part of town, and have a lot of fun. For example, after spending 15 minutes trying to catch a cab during rush hour, we all decided to ride the subway. Even in Shanghai, I have never been in a subway car (or bus or train) that was that crowded. After squeezing our way out, we proceeded to wander around for another ten minutes, trying to find the restaurant. For some reason, they don't have a real address. Instead, they just tell you to go to the Wide and Narrow Alleys (another famous tourist spot in Chengdu) and it will be right near the entrance. By some miracle, we managed to find the place, despite the fact that they don't even have the name of the restaurant posted outside of their door!

Also, I want to thank Tahn, one of the Consulate officers who kindly paid for all of the interns' meals. All of the officer staff have been wonderfully kind to us, as they realize that we are poor college students, at an unpaid internship where we must pay for transportation, housing, and food out of pocket. Actually, a number of the officers were shocked that we weren't paid and didn't receive any help from the State Department. Apparently, this varies significantly from post to post, and we must have just gotten unlucky with our post. At any rate, I don't regret the decision to come here at all, even if my wallet is feeling a little light for the time being, long-term, I'm betting this experience will pay off.